the calm before the storm
It’s a beautiful sight, the calm before the storm. Ultimate tranquility. Exquisite bliss. The setting Sun far away on the horizon. The perfectly calm water, and the tropical palm trees. That was the last good day of my life. Who would have thought ten thousand people could die on this beach the day after i took this photo.
I vividly remmeber the moment i took the photograph. I was on my own on the beach, my wife had just gone for a bath and i decided to catch our final honeymoon sunset. We were due to stay for two more nights but the weather said it would rain for the rest of the time.
At the time i was so glad i took advantage of this moment. The funny thing is, i nearly forgot my camera, it was only when i got halfway to the beach that i noticed i didn’t have it with me. Lucky really, I got this photo.
I went back and went to bed. It was my honeymoon so…you know.
The next morning, i woke to an empty bed, my wife had gone for a stroll on the beach, she left me a note. ‘Whatever floats your boat’ i said in my head, it was raining, sounded a bit windy to. I got up and had a shower and shave. I was going to ring for room service but when i called they asked me if i was crazy.
I walked over to the window, drew back the curtains and watched a wall of water swirl by, it carried cars, trees, rubbish, umbrellas, and as i later found out, my wife. That’s why i keep this photo.
Matt – this is a chilling little tale, quite effective. However, if I was editing it I’d suggest you add to the suspense, and poignancy, by prolonging the ‘denouement’ – the fact of the Tsunami and the loss of his wife…
For instance, if you completely drop the first paragraph (start with ‘I vividly remember…’, there is immediately a mystery – and the picture provides its own description. Later on the horror is revealed (you could put your first linked text near – even at – the end, for instance).
I’d try restructuring a little – this or another way – to make for more enigma.
NB: check you know the difference between ‘sight’ and ‘site’ – not sure if you intended ‘site’ in your linked text.
second link has no content for me.
Do you think it would only sound ‘a bit windy’ if a wall of water was actually going by – perhaps it would be on the horizon rather?
well done, this is a very good start for future development.
Katharine