Week 4 Assignment – CRITIQUE/INSTRUCTIONAL MATERIALS: Finishing ‘Op-Ed’ web opinion piece; reading and critique on article by Bernstein (as a blog entry); ‘How to’ instructional web page materials (choice of serious or ‘tongue in cheek’ approach).
The Idea
Have you ever just had that urge to annoy your landlord? frustrate him beyond despair? or just ruin their property? well this is the place to be, a concise guide on…
HOW TO GET THROWN OUT BY YOUR LANDLORD
THE STEPS-normal
1.Be loud. This works in many ways really, loud music, abusive shouting etc. fairly self explanatory.
2. Pull up the carpets. Stomping on bare floorboards is much more effective at upping those decibels.
3. Bed action (real or manufactured). Any loud screams and the bed hitting the wall will annoy other tenants and the landlord. There’s nothing like disturbing other peoples sleep.
4. Watch TV at ridiculous hours, i find national geographic works best, monkey screams, whale song etc.
THE STEPS- crazy
5. Paint all the walls, doors, floors, yourselves if necessary, black!
6. Turn your stairs into a water slide, great fun and causes a flood. (only works if your flat/ apartment has stairs, bungalows will not work.)
7. This is only to be used in drastic measures… set fire to and burn down your flat/apartment.
IMPORTANT: make sure you leave your place of residence swiftly after setting fire to it.
WARNING: points 5 to 7 may result in death.
Carrying out just a few of these should result in you being kicked out, if not, you have a problem. Enjoy the tips.
I really like the fact that you’ve included an introduction – sets you off thinking as to whether you suffer from any of these problems, and if they can be answered within the points.
These points can also either be taken seriously, or just provided for humor – either way, its an entertaining piece and very inventive ideas to annoy the landlord. They would definitely be the worst neighbours from hell!
Thanks Matt, for making me weep with laughter! What a great example of dry humour. (I’m quite keen to try 7.)
Katharine
I agree. Although obviously humourous, who really knows the lengths people will go to?
I have the image of a tenant walking around in black paint, completely camouflaged in his/her room. Excellent.
Some fantastic ideas in there! I like how they’ve been split into ‘normal’ and ‘crazy’ because you just know that anyone willing to take up steps 5-7 would need it pointing out to them that it isn’t normal.
You always seem to come up with imaginative ways of looking at a subject. It makes your writing really entertaining.